|
"Project car, good shape, been sitting awhile,
this beauty just needs a little Tender Loving Care..." 
From the Humor Department: here are some common translations,
for anyone buying a car...
| If the ad claims: |
It really means: |
| All original |
Never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced |
| Loaded with options |
Each one more troublesome than the next |
| Rough condition |
Too bad to lie about |
| Parts Car |
Beyond repair |
| Immaculate |
Recently washed |
| Concours |
Recently waxed |
| Engine quiet |
Uses 90-weight oil |
| Needs minor work |
Needs engine |
| Needs major work |
Junkyard doesn't even want it |
| Burns no oil |
Because it all leaks out |
| Rebuilt engine |
Cleaned the spark plugs |
| Drive it away |
Seller lives on a hill |
| Desirable classic |
No one wants it |
| Rare classic |
No one wanted it, even when it was new |
| Stored 20 years |
(in a field) |
| Ran when stored |
Won't start |
| Never apart |
Bolts too rounded to loosen |
| Solid as a rock |
Rusted solid |
| Restored with 0 miles |
Won't start |
| Restored with 2 miles |
Won't stay running |
| Older restoration |
First owner washed it |
| Good investment |
Couldn't be worth less |
| No time to restore it |
Can't obtain parts |
| 95% complete |
Other 5% doesn't exist |
| Interests conflict |
"Either that #!@*! thing goes or I go!" |
|
